One day at the veterinarian's office where I take my cat, a man and the receptionist were verbally sparring.

After a few moments a technician came to her co-worker's defense.

"Sir...Do you know what happens to aggressive males in this office?"

Golfer: "Think I'm going to drown myself in the lake."
Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long?"

Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heaven, you've already moved most of the earth."

Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?"
Caddy: "Yes, you miss the ball much closer now."

Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?"
Caddy: "Eventually."

Golfer: "You've got to be the worst Caddy in the world."
Caddy: "I don't think so sir. That would be too much of a coincidence."

Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction."
Caddy: "It's not a watch - it's a compass."

Golfer: "How do you like my game?"
Caddy: "Very good sir, but personally, I prefer golf."

Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday?"
Caddy: "The way you play, sir, it's a sin on any day."

Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on."
Caddy: "This isn't the golf course. We left that an hour ago."

Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old,"
Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."

...because five entries for blogextra isn't near enough

'Spirit', the current Mars rover, is to turn over a rock today. NASA officials say they won't know till tomorrow what is under the rock.

"Dirt?"

"I'm sorry Sir, have you reached a decision?"

"Yes I have. Supersize my balls."

Moulin Rouge!

Your mouth, so hot
Your web, I'm caught
Your skin, so wet
Black lace on sweat

- Alice Cooper - Poison

a chinese woman describing the behind scenes of what was going on between her brother and the woman that killed him.

"...She would all ways give him big cock"

"you mean hug?"

"Yes, big hug"

after viewing commericals to Bill Dance's fishing commericals... ones where he's falling off a boat into the water... through a railing on a dock... just falling down period... oh yeah... and kissing fish...

Melissa says... I used to watch him when i was a kid...

I says... never having had watched Bill Dance before... "He's a clumsy shit ain't he?"

How was I to know he was drunk?

"may settle during shipment"


An obvious ploy to disguise the fact they only fill the box half full?

CBS radio news announcer:
"The United States Federal Government is looking at new regulations for cattle farmers due to the outbreak of the Mad Cow Disease"