#10. Your hairdresser doesn't wash and clean your rear end.

#9. You don't go for weeks without washing or brushing your hair.

#8. Your hairdresser doesn't have to give you a sanitary trim.

#7. Your hairdresser doesn't have to clean your ears.

#6. Your hairdresser doesn't have to remove the boogies from your eyes.

#5. You sit still for your hairdresser.

#4. Your haircut doesn't include a manicure or pedicure.

#3. Your hairdresser only washes and cuts the hair on your head.

#2. You don't bite or scratch your hairdresser.

and the #1 reason why your dog's haircut costs more than yours.......

#1. The likelihood of you pooping or peeing while your hair is being cut is slim.

he can see a young boy walking down the hall. He seemed to have a check in one hand and two dollars in the other.

The pizza man figured that was his tip until the boy pocketed the two dollars before opening the door.

When the pizza man got the check, he noticed it was for the exact amount of the order.

He asked the boy, somewhat hintingly, "were those two dollars a tip?"

The boy said, "yep, can you believe it... all I had to do was walk the check from the living room to the door!"

God met her at the gates and said, "You have been a good cat all of these years. Anything you want is yours for the asking." The cat thought a minute and then said, "All my life I lived on a farm and slept on hard wooden floors. I would like a real fluffy pillow to sleep on." God said, "Say no more." Instantly, the cat had a huge fluffy pillow.

A few days later, six mice were killed in an accident and they all went to Heaven together. God met the mice at the gates with the same offer that He made to the cat. The mice said, "Well, we have had to run all of our lives: from cats, dogs and even people with brooms! If we could just have some little roller skates, we would never have to run again."

God answered, "It is done." All the mice had beautiful little roller skates.

About a week later, God decided to check on the cat. He found her sound asleep on her fluffy pillow. God gently awakened the cat and asked, "Is everything ok? How have you been doing? Are you happy?"

The cat replied, "Oh, this is WONDERFUL. I have never been so happy in my life! My pillow is fluffy, and those little MEALS ON WHEELS you have been sending over are delicious!"

"After all that money your father and I spent
on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"

Hello.

I am the Happiness Fairy.

I've sprinkled happy dust on you.

So Smile dammit. This shit is expensive!!